Thursday, February 2, 2012

How I Got My Perfect Book Title, “HE♥RTGASM – Increase Intimacy and Ecstasy with Your Beloved”©, & Excerpt from Chapter 1, Hands on Heart Process

In line with “giving away my best content” for free, over the next few months, I’ll be posting some of my best segments directly from my new book, “HERTGASM – Increase Intimacy and Ecstasy with Your Beloved”© due out in April with Hay House’s Balboa Press.  In case you didn’t notice, this is the most recent version of my book title, which I have to admit, changes more frequently than I change my hairdo.

Here is a little story about the new title, which everyone agrees is a winner -- at least everyone in Robert Allen’s great 3-day seminar. Let me explain….

HERTGASM – Increase Intimacy and Ecstasy with Your Beloved,” my new book title, was the MIRACLE that happened at Robert Allen’s Multiple Streams of Income Seminar this last weekend:

Little did I know that we would spend the whole first day working on getting the perfect book title, a subject dear to his heart, since Robert Allen’s first book, “Nothing Down,” was on the New York Times best-seller list for over 10 years running. And his more recent book, co-penned with Mark Victor Hansen, The One Minute Millionaire,” also did extremely well. Not to mention the ten or so books in between. It all begins with a book with a great, “hooky” title.

I smugly felt very that I already had a great book with a great title, and that it would be a snap to create a book-cover poster that everyone would love. Running in from lunch at the last minute, I scribbled my cover and just barley got it up on the display wall, running in a big circle around the conference room. Unfortunately, going clockwise, the only space left was the last spot at the far end of the circle.
We were supposed place 1 of 3 pink post-it notes on the titles we liked. And we were to use 3 blue post-its for the titles we didn’t like.

I was so certain that I had the perfect title for my new book that I was shocked when my title didn’t seem to work with my group. No one put any stickers at all on mine, so I put on one of my own pink stickers. My book didn’t get noticed at all, and quite frankly, even if people hadn’t liked it, that would have been better than not being noticed at all. The writing was “on the wall” so to speak. By the end of the day, I finally had to admit that I needed a more compelling title.

Robert’s coaching included the suggestion that “if your title hasn’t worked today, make it your intention when you go to bed tonight, that when you wake up in the morning, that you will have your new book title.” I immediately made a note to myself to do that.

That evening driving home, out of nowhere, the word “Heartgasm” popped into my head -- a very clear “download” of a title. And immediately after, the sub-title dropped in.

The next morning when asked if any of us had gotten any “Ah, ha’s!” my hand shot up in the air and Robert called on me. I told my whole story in front of the class, ending with announcing the new title, “HEARTGASM.” 

Everyone started hooting and clapping -- one gal ran up and plastered pink post-it notes all over my body. People were roaring with laughter. When prompted for a sub-title, I said “That got downloaded next -- ‘Increase Intimacy and Ecstasy with Your Beloved’.” They obviously loved that too, and another gal ran up, also plastering me with pink post-its -- an uproariously funny moment that convinced me that “this must be THE ONE.” It was the highlight of the day.

Now that everything has calmed down, I’ve decided to keep “Relate>Love>Sex” as the brand-name for all my products and services in my leveraged progression plan, each with their own titles, like the book.

Let’s get back to the part of this blog that you will love, because you are going to learn a process you can do with anyone: your partner, spouse, friend (same sex ok), your parent, your sibling, your boss, your self – anyone. It’s called the “Hands on Heart Process,” and it magically creates a loving connection to who ever is willing to do it.

Hands on Heart Process
The first process I encourage readers to do, is to find a partner, whether it be a friend or a lover, who you can learn to connect with at your heart center. This helps get you right into the basic premise of relating from the heart. If no one is available, do it with yourself, sitting cross-legged in front of a mirror.

Since my “Hands on Heart” process can be done with a friend or lover, it’s not about sex (it can even be done with two same-sex people) -- it’s about connecting body, soul, and heart. This instant connection shows that we are all made of the same stuff – we are all the same inside.

[This photo taken from a “hands on heart” demonstration from my DVD, “Tantric Partner Yoga,” (co-produced with Robert Frey)]

• The couple sits facing each other either knee-to-knee or closer if desired, like in the Yab-yum (the man sits cross-legged and the woman wraps her legs around him). Just make sure you are able to reach your partner’s heart with your right hand and vice-versa. Your left hand covers your partner’s right hand on your heart and vice-versa. Initially, close your eyes and feel your partner’s heart beat (this might take a minute or two).

• Then imagine that what you see behind your closed eyes is the color of your combined heart energies. You might even describe to each other what colors you are seeing. For example, people often see darks and purples, somewhat interspersed with energy bursts of subdued pinks, golds, and whites. There is no right or wrong in this, only that you use your imagination to describe the heart energies you are feeling between the two of you.

• Next, without moving your hands, open your eyes and gaze into your partner’s eyes. Since the left eye represents the feminine or receptive side, it is even more effective to gaze into each other’s left eye. This may be a bit uncomfortable at first, because people are not usually so direct. But stay with it and imagine that you are looking directly into their soul. You can imagine a bright white or gold light deep down inside and see their magnificence, their warm love, and the beauty that we all are inside, and then tell your partner what you see.

• Next you might want to do the Namaste Greeting. Holding hands up in a prayer position, hands intertwined if desired, come close enough now to almost be touching foreheads and repeat the following together: “The Divine in me, recognizes, and honors, the Divine in You – Namaste.” On saying Namaste, bow slightly to touch foreheads, and notice that your partner’s two eyes have merged into one – symbolic of the one we all are. Give your partner (or yourself) a nice hug, and then slowly separate and move apart.

Even if the only contact you have all day with your beloved is this one, it will give you the glue and sweetness you need to stay energetically connected with each other. Namaste…

About the Writer

Author, coach and trainer, Toni De Marco, has an extensive background in health, wholeness, and relationships which include sexuality. Her expertise is available for private coaching, group trainings (including teleseminars and Webinars), and facilitating trainings around the globe that are transformative and often life changing.

Find out more about De Marco’s trainings and offers go to Toni's R.L.S. Trainings/Retreats

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